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Feeling Lost After Loss

Updated: Apr 24, 2020

It was October 4th 2009 a day I will never forget. This day changed me forever. I was at work and I went to the bathroom to find that I was bleeding. I knew that this couldn't be a good sign but I never imagined that the end result would be me hearing the awful words, "I'm sorry but we cannot find your babies heart beat".

Numb, shocked, confussed and broken I left the hospital that night feeling completely lost. I had so many questions, I couldn't understand how this could happen, my baby was just there, where did her heartbeat go? Just a few weeks before I heard it, it was there, she was alive, and she was mine. I was planning for her this I hadn't prepared for. But how can you? Before this day I had never even thought about the fact that sometimes pregnancy ends in loss.

That day something in me died and I vowed that if my baby's heart would never beat again that mine didn't deserve to either.

The days turned into weeks and the weeks into months and the months into years. For alot of this time it all felt as if the world around me was moving by fast but I was stuck. I was LOST. I couldn't figure out how to navigate this new me, the empty me, this broken me, this me that had no clue that I would need to learn how to heal from loss.

It's been 10 years and every year feels a little different. I've learned so much about grief and loss and how important it is to heal in a positive way. I no longer feel alone or lost in loss. I have to attribute much of this to the work I do with Propa City Community Outreach.

Our Mission is to provide education, advocacy, public awareness and support services to families in our community experiencing all types of loss.

While we teach others to heal from loss it continues strengthening my inner healing.

October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss (P.A.I.L) awareness month. If you or someone you know may be struggling to cope, heal, are feeling lost after loss or just want to be connected with a group of people who have experienced loss in their own way and have found ways to navigate this often unspoken place. I urge you to get connected with Propa City Community Outreach. We host healing sessions and various workshops each month that can aide in making steps to heal in a positive.

To learn more and get connected visit our website:

Please also feel free to contact me:

Miscarriage FAQs

>As many as 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage

>Among women who know they are pregnant, it is estimated that 1 in 6 pregnancies end in miscarriage.

>1 in 4 women experience a miscarriage during their lifetimes

>The majority of miscarriages happen in the first trimester – over 80% of miscarriages occur before 12 weeks


I am 1 in 4

In honor of Pregnancy and Infant Loss awareness month we will be hosting a hearts release. Please submit names of your Angel babies and join us on October 31st. More info can be found in the link below.

With Gratitude,



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